Finding joy in the midst of sorrow

Many valuable lessons can be learned from adversity that comes into you life. Just ask folks like Joseph or Job. Both men were faced with an abundance of trials and adversity, but it built strong character in each man. Why, because they refused to be overcome by adversity and they made a conscious choice to overcome. I think the appropriate term would be "perseverance in the face of adversity".

I must say, initially upon the death of my grandmother, I was overcome with grief, not as much for myself as I was for my grandfather, mother and aunt. My heart ached for them. However, several days prior to her death, my mom had asked if I would represent the family to speak at her funeral. Initially I wanted to say no, but chose to pray about it instead. As a result, speaking about my Mamaw was the perfect way to turn my sorrow into joy. In addition, my family, as well as those in attendance found comfort in the words God gave me.

As I was writing out my memories of her, I found myself laughing in the midst of my tears.  I was constantly reminded of how much fun she and I had together.  We laughed a lot.  I'm not talking about silly girl laughter, I'm talking the belly aching deep gut laughter that sometimes causes tears because you've laughed so hard. I believe my gift of laughter came from her.  I I was to have been a part of herealized too how blessed r life and had her in my life as well. 

I must admit, it was one of the hardest things I have ever chosen to do, but the reward of saying "yes", and knowing that God had ordained that moment in my life makes me truly thankful that even in the midst of my pain and adversity, I said "yes"!

Here is what I wrote and said about my grandmother:


The other day when my Mom asked me if I would speak today, I would have preferred to emphatically say no. However, there was a voice that said, “Tells her you’ll pray about it.” So, I did and here I am, talking to you about my sweet precious Mamaw.




There are many things most of you know about her like her quick wit and her infectious laughter. She adored Papaw and her family. We were her life. There was nothing in the world that she was more proud of than her family. Any opportunity she had to talk about her family she would do with great pride. She also loved the Lord with the whole of her heart and even with her dementia, never forgot Him. Many times while visiting her in the nursing home she would say, “I’m so blessed. God has blessed me so much. I just can’t thank Him enough.” She never forgot to thank Him before she would have a meal. In fact one year, for her birthday, the nurses brought her a cake, sang “Happy Birthday” but before she would eat, she bowed her head to give thanks.



In addition to all of those things, she was my grandmother with a big servant’s heart. She loved to care for us. When I was 13, I had mono and was out of school for two weeks. When my Mom called to tell her that I was sick; immediately she responded. “Troy and I will be down to get her in a little while and I’ll take care of her.” It wasn’t long maybe an hour or so until they came to Columbus and picked me up. For the next two weeks, I was treated like “Queen for the day” She was at my every beck and call. She made sure that I had a bell beside my bed, beside the couch anywhere I went there was a bell and all I had to was rings the bell and she would come running. “Honey, what can I do for you?” During that time, we started book reading together. I was bored and she had a lot of books, I told her I needed a good book to read. She came back with Not My Will by Francena A Arnold. “Oh Honey, this is one of the sweetest stories, I think you’ll like it.” She was right and that’s when we started our reading club. We read The Little House on the Prairie Series and after that we got hooked on Jeanette Oke Books. We read all of her book series, and then we would talk about the books. Most of the books that we shared were about all about relationships and family, the two things that she valued most.



In addition to being a servant, she was a doer. Her hands were constantly working either in the kitchen, laundry or writing cards to friends and family. She was a card -collector, not trading cards but all occasion cards. She had cards for every occasion imaginable, sometimes I think she even made up her own occasion to send card and anytime a store had boxed cards for a good deal, she would buy them. She received pleasure from sending cards to those she loved. Normally, when she sent a card she would send a little or long note and always a cut out scripture verse or a funny joke to accompany the card. It was rare that a card coming from her contained only a signature; they almost always contained a personal note.



She was a storyteller also. She would tell us stories of the old times. Oh, how she loved to repeat stories that had been handed down generation to generation. One of her favorites to tell was not about others, but one about herself. Or maybe it was because it was one I loved to hear her tell. There was a radio show that was one of her favorite shows called, “Miss Moodle and her dog named Poodle.” Ms Moodle was our modern day Mary Poppins. She and her dog, along with her umbrella would fly from rooftops to get from place to place to make the world a better place. One day, Mamaw decided that she too wanted to fly away like Ms Moodle. She packed her bag and umbrella, went to the upstairs of their two-story house, climbed onto the porch roof and got ready to fly. Down below was her bother Monroe, watching his sister mount on the roof, begging with tears in his eyes, “Please, don’t go Colleen. Please don’t leave.” She said, “Monroe, I have to go. I love you and waved goodbye” She opened the umbrella, and proceeded to jump, but found out quickly that the umbrella didn’t whisk her away, instead it turned inside out and she landed flat on her rear.



In her later years, I often joked with her saying, “You know that’s why you hurt all over now. It was the fall of the roof-top that ruined everything.” She would just laugh and say, “Well honey, maybe you’re right.”



One story she never told me though was about the big lie that she and my grandfather told, and it wasn’t until the other night, while I lagged behind to sit with Papaw on her last night, that I learned of it.



The met in school. They were in the same grade because my grandmother missed almost an entire year of school due to health reasons. During their last year of high school, they rode the bus together. She lived about half mile from his house and had to walk to his house to catch the bus. That is how their love affair began. By the end of their school year, they were madly in love and knew they wanted to get married. Not only did the state of North Carolina not allow a marriage between 16-year-old boys and 17 year old girls, their families would have preferred they waited also. They didn’t, they eloped and got married anyway. They took Mamaws’ cousin Velma with them, and took a taxi to South Carolina to get married. When I asked Papaw why they went to SC his response was “well it was easier to get married there”. After a minute or two, he said, “I became 18 quickly.” To which my response was , “Yes I guess having a baby within nine months of marriage did make you grow up quickly”

He said, “No honey, I mean I became 18 in a matter of a couple of hours.”



“Are you telling me that you lied about your age to get married.



He chuckled and said, “Well, I guess I did. It was okay that she was 17 but the male had to be 18.”



Didn’t they ask for birth certificates?



“Honey, they didn’t ask for a thing except our signatures.”



While holding Magmas hand, I said “All these years, all these stories, and never, not once did you ever tell me that you lied to get married.” At that moment there was a slight twitch of the hand and motion of the lips as if she were saying, “I had to keep something for Papaw to tell you” I just laughed and said to her, “You just didn’t want me to know that you could tell lie.”



Well, I have to say. I’m glad they lied. I’m certain that God wasn’t happy with them for lying but; He certainly looked on their marriage and commitment to each other with great favor. They kept what was near and dear to their hearts, each other, not frivolous material possessions, the relationship that exists between a man and woman wholly committed to their maker and one another. They were one with each other, from beginning to end. They spent their first night as man and wife and their last night together as man and wife. God word says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” Genesis 2:24 and Matthew goes a little further to say, “And the two shall become one, so they are no longer two but one” . But on Wednesday at 12:39, they became separate again and he felt the separation, even though he had gone home to rest, and will continue to feel that separation until he rejoins her in Heaven. I’m so very thankful that their next meeting will be a reunion of a lifetime and he will never have to bear the searing pain of once again having to be separated from his one true love. Like I said at the beginning, she was witty and almost always had to get the last word in and did so even in death. The day she died we were gathered around watching her take her last breaths of life. When she breathed her last breath, we all cried, well sobbed almost uncontrollably with great sorrow. I had just about finished my wailing when I looked over at her and saw her breathing again. “Look, she’s breathing again” For a moment we all turned our eyes back to her watched as she again took several shallow breaths and then quit. Suddenly, laughter filled the room almost as uncontrollably as the tears. “Mother, you just had to get the last laugh didn’t you” I heard my mother say. Renee, our sweet Hospice CNA, said, “I’m sorry I should have stayed in the room or warned you that sometimes they will do that.”

“No,” I told her. God knew that we needed to laugh and so did Mamaw. That’s exactly what she wanted for her family, to laugh in the midst of tears.”



If I could put a quote on my Macaw in a few words, which is almost impossible for me, I would have to say that she laughed until she cried, and cried until she laughed.



The day of her death, marked in my bible were these words from Psalm 116:5 -15 “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simple hearted; and when I was in great need. He saved me. Be at rest, once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to me! For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before you in the land of the living. I believed, therefore, I said “I am greatly afflicted. And in my dismay, I said, “All men are liars.” How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”

Unleash! Book Review

Unleash! by Perry Noble is a must read.  The book delivers humor, practical illustrations and sound biblical teachings.  It will make you laugh, make you cry and make you think about the life God desires for you to live that is way beyond the normal.

Perry's use of practical illustrations, mostly from his own personal experiences coupled with sound biblical teachings help you realize that "God created us on purpose and for a purpose."   He desires to be active in and through our lives, every aspect, both good and bad.

Just like from the pulpit, the use of humor is Perry's way to often times explain how God has taught him lessons throughout his life. In fact one of the points that Perry makes in his book is that "God wants to hear us laugh. God is not after our begrudging submission. He is afterour joy."  It is also a reminder that God created laughter.

If you want to move beyond normal into a life that God has planned for you this is a must read.


"As human beings created in the image of God, we are overflowing with unlimited potential, fueled by His limitless power, yet we choose to cruise through life tinkering with the radio and the mirrors, never discovering who God has called us to be."  Perry Noble

Lessons learned on the golf course

There are a few things that I’ve learned on the golf course with my son. Obviously the most notable would be that “I CANNOT TALK” . Now those of you who know me well understand when I say this was extremely difficult for me at first, but I’ve learned that through being silent the birds singing, the sound of the club connecting with the ball at impact, the rustling of the trees on a windy day or the hearing the squirrel scurrying through the woods can be so refreshing to the mind, both physically and emotionally. And yes, believe it or not, I can be quiet and still, sometimes for a couple of hours. (It even surprises me!)




The second thing I’ve learned is some of the common every day terms that I use are not exactly the same in golf. For instance a slice isn’t a piece of pie. It is shot in which the direction of the ball curves like a banana and it isn’t normally a shot that is hit intentionally. A hook isn’t a piece of metal used to catch or hold something, rather it is for the right-handed golfer a right to left ball flight that will some cases give the golfer an advantage, especially when it’s a controlled “draw”. It is also used by some golfers to escape trouble and unlike the slice, a hook is an intentional shot.



I have also learned that golf isn’t any easy sport. Every shot in golf counts and boy, do they add up quickly! I have watched Alex go through periods where he has hit the ball well and I have watched him struggle to even get the ball to the green. I have seen putts skim the hole and lip out. I have seen chip shots that fly the green. I have seen periods of deep anguish and frustration for him and I’ve seen periods of exuberance and excitement. But what I have witnessed at all times, is that he does not quit. He does not give up, sometimes he does defeat himself when he’s playing poorly. But he keeps counting the shots and he finishes. It may not be the finish he hoped for, but he completes his round and removes his hat and shakes hands with others in his group.



Another quality that I have seen in Alex is his undying commitment to his sport. He practices continuously, even during the times he doesn’t feel like it’s getting him anywhere. He is diligent about making an effort to get out and try. He has a very strong work ethic when it comes to his passion.

Which brings me to the point of this blog. In life sometimes it is necessary for us to be quiet and still while waiting for God to show us what He wants us to do. Sometimes we are going to mishit and mess up, maybe intentionally or not intentionally, but we’re going to mess up. There will be times of flourishing and there will be times of famine, but we don’t have to throw the towel in and give up. We just keep playing until the round is over and we don’t allow the disappointment of one bad round affect the outcome of the next. We move on and when we don’t feel like moving on we ask God to give us the dedication and commitment we need to keep the passion of following Him, regardless of whether it feels like we’re making progress or not. Let’s face it life is hard, but we don’t have to face it alone!