As we turned the vehicle around and starting driving toward Thelma's house. Suddenly, I got nervous, my hands were shaking and clamy and a host of questions started flooding my mind. "What will she think of me? Will she like me? What will she think about the fact I have children?"
Terry looked over, sensing my nervousness and said, "Oh, don't pay too much attention to anything my mom says. She just spouts out without thinking sometimes and doesn't mean anything by what she says. We won't stay long, ok?"
We pulled up to 737 Buncombe Street and climbed out of the truck. Still shaking on the inside, I followed Terry to the door and stayed behind him until we were in the door.
There she was, sitting in the chair in the living room. The thick dark hair framed her wrinking face, her deeply recessed brazen brown revealed a strong willed independent woman; yet, despite the weathering of years, she remained an extremely attrative woman. "Hey Terry, who's that with you?" she inquiried.
"Thelma (as he commonly called her) this is Kelly." he replied
"Oh, that's the girl that kept calling. The one you and Marie keep talking about."
After shaking hands with her, she invited me to sit down and talk. We talked the normal small talk first to break the ice. The conversation turned to her family, mainly she spoke of her deceased husband George (Terry's dad). She talked about his passive gentle nature, his wittiness and her deep love for him. At this point, he had been dead almost 3 years. He died in the summer of '91 with congestive heart failure. It was obvious that she missed him terribly. Fortunately for her, Terry being single, moved in shortly before George's death and he provided companionship for her.
Then the converstion turned to me and the boys. She was genuinely interested in as many details about them as I could provide. However, I could sense an uneasiness developing with Terry as the conversation deepened, possibly fear of what would expel from her lips.
Finally he looked his nervousness got the best of him and he looked at me and said, "Ok. It's time to go. I need to get you home."
As I turned to shake her hand, she looked at me and said, "I can tell you really like my boy and he really likes you." Suprised by her comment, I had no response but quietly in my mind I wondered, "How could she tell?" (What I would later learn was that my mother in law was a very perceptive individual and had a great sense of character judgement.)
To Terry's relief, she had not been as abrasive as he had forewarned. In fact once we were in the car, headed back to my house, Terry said, "She likes you. I can tell."
"How do you know?" I asked.
"If she didn't like you, she would not have talked to you as much as she did. Believe me, you would know if my mom didn't like you. She doesn't hide her feelings well."
She did like me and she readily accepted me and the boys as her own. There's much to tell about the woman I was privileged to call my mother in law, but that's a book itself. Suffice to say, on Decebmer 27, 2001 Thelma's body succumbed to emphysema and I am very thankful and blessed that she was a part of my life for almost 8 years.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Anniversary Week - The Great Debate
For 16 years now, Terry and I have debated this portion of our story. This debate has led to mulitple conversations between friends and family. Obviously anyone who hears his version is apt to side with him. I guess it really doesn't matter so much now, it's just fun for us to banter with one another in an effort to keep the debate going.
Here's the real story.
So, as we headed for the door Valentine's evening to say goodnight, I had to walk into the garage to lock the door. As we ventured into the garage, we continued to converse. Finally, I told him he had to leave because I knew those precious little boys would be up with the rooster, and I needed sleep to keep up with them. He turned to leave and gave me a gentle hug. I think my heart skipped 5 beats. It was just a hug, I told myself....no big deal.
This is where our stories vary, after we hugged for a minute or so, he just stood there glaring at me. Then pulled me to himself again and kissed me. The kiss like his hug, was gentle and full of passion. At that moment, in that one kiss, I knew this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. How did I know? I just knew, simple as that.
Obviously, he says exactly the opposite and he tells everyone, "You just wouldn't believe. She couldn't keep her hands off of me. She kissed me first."
We do agree that night was a new beginning for us both.
Even though deep in my heart, I knew Terry was the one for me. I still wasn't ready to completely trust and give my heart away. I carried way too much baggage from the past, my heart was derelict condition. It would take much more than a passionate kiss to convince me to trust completely again. Perhaps in time, just not immediately.
We continued our late night meetings and dating on the weekends. Sometimes the boys went and sometimes they didn't. I was fortunate enough to have grandparents and parents who were willing to keep the boys and from time to time, hire a babysitter.
In April, my sister got married. Terry was a lifesaver during that time. Not only did he take me to this swanky kids clothing store to buy the boys outfits(which would later be worn by Alex for a friends' wedding) for the wedding. oO the wedding day, the guestbook was inadvertantly left at home and when it was discovered it was far too late to run back home and pick it up. So, Terry went downtown and bought one.
Trusting him was becoming easier and easier, but something still bothered me. Until now, he had met all of my family including the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I only knew Tom and Marie (Terry's sister) and their two boys. I had not met his mom Thelma.
After a date one night, inquistively I asked, "So, when do I get to meet your Mom?"
"I don't know" was his response.
"Are you embarrassed to for me to meet her? My gosh, we've been dating almost 3 months and you have never once taken me to meet her." I fired back.
"No, it's not you. I'm just not sure how you will take my mom. She's different. She's very forthright and brash at times. But if you insist, I'll take you to meet her."
He turned the truck around and away we went to meet Thelma. (of course I must end here because this is a chapter all it's own)
Here's the real story.
So, as we headed for the door Valentine's evening to say goodnight, I had to walk into the garage to lock the door. As we ventured into the garage, we continued to converse. Finally, I told him he had to leave because I knew those precious little boys would be up with the rooster, and I needed sleep to keep up with them. He turned to leave and gave me a gentle hug. I think my heart skipped 5 beats. It was just a hug, I told myself....no big deal.
This is where our stories vary, after we hugged for a minute or so, he just stood there glaring at me. Then pulled me to himself again and kissed me. The kiss like his hug, was gentle and full of passion. At that moment, in that one kiss, I knew this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. How did I know? I just knew, simple as that.
Obviously, he says exactly the opposite and he tells everyone, "You just wouldn't believe. She couldn't keep her hands off of me. She kissed me first."
We do agree that night was a new beginning for us both.
Even though deep in my heart, I knew Terry was the one for me. I still wasn't ready to completely trust and give my heart away. I carried way too much baggage from the past, my heart was derelict condition. It would take much more than a passionate kiss to convince me to trust completely again. Perhaps in time, just not immediately.
We continued our late night meetings and dating on the weekends. Sometimes the boys went and sometimes they didn't. I was fortunate enough to have grandparents and parents who were willing to keep the boys and from time to time, hire a babysitter.
In April, my sister got married. Terry was a lifesaver during that time. Not only did he take me to this swanky kids clothing store to buy the boys outfits(which would later be worn by Alex for a friends' wedding) for the wedding. oO the wedding day, the guestbook was inadvertantly left at home and when it was discovered it was far too late to run back home and pick it up. So, Terry went downtown and bought one.
Trusting him was becoming easier and easier, but something still bothered me. Until now, he had met all of my family including the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I only knew Tom and Marie (Terry's sister) and their two boys. I had not met his mom Thelma.
After a date one night, inquistively I asked, "So, when do I get to meet your Mom?"
"I don't know" was his response.
"Are you embarrassed to for me to meet her? My gosh, we've been dating almost 3 months and you have never once taken me to meet her." I fired back.
"No, it's not you. I'm just not sure how you will take my mom. She's different. She's very forthright and brash at times. But if you insist, I'll take you to meet her."
He turned the truck around and away we went to meet Thelma. (of course I must end here because this is a chapter all it's own)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Anniversary Week - Hope and expectation
One call led to another and plans were made for the following weekend for Terry to come over to my parents' house and have dinner. However, this was not a date, a singles gathering had already been planned and he agreed to show up.
The night was full of fun and laughter. He lingered after the other guests left. During the course of that conversation, I learned he knew more about me than he initially disclosed. In fact, he had seen me before I ever met him personally.
He told me that during Christmas with his family, they were watching the newly taped version of the Messiah we had done that year. While watching the TV screen, he saw me, pointed me out to his sister and asked, "Who's that girl?" So, Marie proceeded to tell him that I was a divorcee and had two little boys.
There were two things that amazed me from learning this from Terry. The first was that he actually picked me out of the crowd and pointed to me on the tv screen. (Keep in mind we were dressed in full period costume, even our heads were covered.) All he could really see was my face. The second thing that struck me was that after learning I was divorced and had two children, he still had an interest in meeting me.
When he left that evening, I found myself beginning to wonder if he would call again. There had been no hint of affection during the evening, but there was no indication that he had been turned off either. The next couple of days, I found myself rushing to answer the phone every time it rung, especially late in the evening. I was elated when I heard his voice on the other; however I didn't allow my excitement to exude into our conversation. I maintained complete composure, almost to the point I had myself convinced it was no big deal....but it was.
The following Sunday night we decided that he would come over and I would cook for him. You know, they say the best way to a man's heart it through his tummy. This would be his first encounter with my dad and also the first time since our outing to the park that he would have some time with the boys. As the events of the evening unfolded, it still amazes me that he came back.
Our normal Sunday evening routine was going to church and coming home afterward for a light snack supper, usually consisting of popcorn, chips, crackers, etc. After the initial painless introduction to my dad, it seemed the evening go off withouth a hitch. Until my dad realized that I was cooking and were off the norm, suddenly he began ranting and raving about how we didn't cook on Sunday night and he wasn't the least bit happy that I was cooking. Not only was I embarassed, but felt certain that after that evening Terry would never show up on my doorstep again. Fortunately, the remainder of the evening turned out well.
The next day was Valentine's Day and I had no expectation of talking to much less seeing Terry after Sunday evening; however, around 6 pm he called to ask if he could come by after work. Now after work for him was 11:30 because he was working second shift at the time. After the evening before, I wasn't about to say no. So around 11:30 he showed up with a smile on his face and hands behind his back like a child trying to hide candy from his mother. As subtly as he could, he took the package from behind his back to reveal heart shaped sugar cookies that he had picked up from Ingles.
"Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't a chance to get anything for you, so I thought I would at least bring you some cookies." He said rather awkwardly, as if embarrassed by his gift.
"Thank you but I really didn't expect anything you really didn't have to bring anything." I replied. Silence fell and it was almost a deafening silence. Suddenly I realized how foolish my statemnt had been to him. Why couldn't I have just said a simple thank you? So, I tried to explain away the reason for my reply. Fortunately my explanation seemed to appease him.
We would spend the next few hours talking about our past relationships, hurts and hang-ups. Finally, I was growing weary and knew that early morning was coming quickly. So, we said our goodbyes and he headed out the door. I followed behind to lock the door.
The night was full of fun and laughter. He lingered after the other guests left. During the course of that conversation, I learned he knew more about me than he initially disclosed. In fact, he had seen me before I ever met him personally.
He told me that during Christmas with his family, they were watching the newly taped version of the Messiah we had done that year. While watching the TV screen, he saw me, pointed me out to his sister and asked, "Who's that girl?" So, Marie proceeded to tell him that I was a divorcee and had two little boys.
There were two things that amazed me from learning this from Terry. The first was that he actually picked me out of the crowd and pointed to me on the tv screen. (Keep in mind we were dressed in full period costume, even our heads were covered.) All he could really see was my face. The second thing that struck me was that after learning I was divorced and had two children, he still had an interest in meeting me.
When he left that evening, I found myself beginning to wonder if he would call again. There had been no hint of affection during the evening, but there was no indication that he had been turned off either. The next couple of days, I found myself rushing to answer the phone every time it rung, especially late in the evening. I was elated when I heard his voice on the other; however I didn't allow my excitement to exude into our conversation. I maintained complete composure, almost to the point I had myself convinced it was no big deal....but it was.
The following Sunday night we decided that he would come over and I would cook for him. You know, they say the best way to a man's heart it through his tummy. This would be his first encounter with my dad and also the first time since our outing to the park that he would have some time with the boys. As the events of the evening unfolded, it still amazes me that he came back.
Our normal Sunday evening routine was going to church and coming home afterward for a light snack supper, usually consisting of popcorn, chips, crackers, etc. After the initial painless introduction to my dad, it seemed the evening go off withouth a hitch. Until my dad realized that I was cooking and were off the norm, suddenly he began ranting and raving about how we didn't cook on Sunday night and he wasn't the least bit happy that I was cooking. Not only was I embarassed, but felt certain that after that evening Terry would never show up on my doorstep again. Fortunately, the remainder of the evening turned out well.
The next day was Valentine's Day and I had no expectation of talking to much less seeing Terry after Sunday evening; however, around 6 pm he called to ask if he could come by after work. Now after work for him was 11:30 because he was working second shift at the time. After the evening before, I wasn't about to say no. So around 11:30 he showed up with a smile on his face and hands behind his back like a child trying to hide candy from his mother. As subtly as he could, he took the package from behind his back to reveal heart shaped sugar cookies that he had picked up from Ingles.
"Happy Valentine's Day. I didn't a chance to get anything for you, so I thought I would at least bring you some cookies." He said rather awkwardly, as if embarrassed by his gift.
"Thank you but I really didn't expect anything you really didn't have to bring anything." I replied. Silence fell and it was almost a deafening silence. Suddenly I realized how foolish my statemnt had been to him. Why couldn't I have just said a simple thank you? So, I tried to explain away the reason for my reply. Fortunately my explanation seemed to appease him.
We would spend the next few hours talking about our past relationships, hurts and hang-ups. Finally, I was growing weary and knew that early morning was coming quickly. So, we said our goodbyes and he headed out the door. I followed behind to lock the door.
Anniversary Week - The Meeting
It all started around September 1993, while visiting my sweet friend Karen Scoggins and sharing coffee with her and another friend of ours Marie, we were also sharing prayer requests. Marie asked us to pray specifically for her brother and his fiancee. She was concerned about their pending marriage because they came from different religious backgrounds. So, when I returned home later in the day, I wrote in my prayer journal the names Terry and Patty - their pending marriage and concern over religious differences. I had no clue who I was praying for, only that my friend asked me to pray.
Fast forward to January 1994...In order to make a little side money I began office cleaning. The office I was cleaning just happened to belong to Tom, Marie's husband. One night while cleaning, Tom and Marie popped in to pick up something. Out of the clear blue, Tom said, "According to your mom, you aren't dating anyone. Is that correct?"
The response came quickly, "I really have no desire. I've only been divorced since July."
"Well, you should go out with Marie's brother. He just broke his engagement to his fiancee." He replied.
"Tom, there's no hurry. Give her some time." Marie interjected.
"Well, you are involved in the Singles Ministry at church, aren't you?" He asked
I responded."Yes, I am one of the encouragers. I make phone calls and write letters to singles."
"Well then Maries brother, Terry needs some encouragement to come back to church. He's had a hard time wanting to come back. I think he gets tired of us telling him. Maybe you could contact him and invite him to come." He said.
Without hesitation I said, "Sure, I'll be happy to contact him." So Marie gave me his phone number.
A couple of days later, I tried to call Terry but he wasn't home. For the next two weeks, I would unsuccessfully try to call. No, I didn't call every day or every other day, maybe once every 4 days. I ran into Marie at church and she said, "Have you talked to him yet?" "No, he's never home." I said "Please keep trying. Don't give up." She pleaded.
The last Saturday in January, I decidied to give it one more try. I prayed before I called, "Lord, if you want me to encourage this guy to come to church, please let him be home. As I dialed the last number, my palms became clamy, my heart started racing as the voice on the other end said, "Hello!"
"May I speak to Terry?"
"Hold on a minute." Thelma said and she held the phone down and began to yell, "Terry (came out more like "Tarry"), you got a phone call. It's that girl again (and that would be my name for a long time with her, "That girl")
Finally after almost 3 weeks of calling, I talked to him for the very first time. Initially it was a little awkward, but for those of you who know both of us, we like to talk. So it didn't take long for the conversation to liven and we talked for an hour and half. By the end of the converstaion, I had invited him to church on Sunday and he told me precisely where he would be sitting.
On Sunday morning, I walked into the sanctuary and there he was, sitting exactly where he said he would be with his nephews, Brad and Zach, with a smile on his fact that stretched ear to ear. After our initial introductions, he asked me where my boys were. He wanted to see them. I explained they were in their classes and he could see them another time. Then he asked the question, "Do you want to sit with us?"
Without hesitation or second thought, "No thank you. I'm sitting with friends."
Astonished he said, "Oh, ok. Guess I'll talk to you later. Nice meeting you."
I didn't give much thought to what I had just done or undone, but as sure as I am writing this, my sweet little Mama let me know very quickly that I had been rude.
"What do mean inviting someone to church and not sitting with them? What were you thinking? I can't believe you did that to him. He'll probably never talk to you again." She clamored.
"Ok Mama, I get the picture. But you don't understand, I needed to sit with my friends because one of them was joining the church today and she asked me to walk forward with her for moral support. That's why I sat with her." I said trying to ease her rage with me.
"Well, then you need to call him and apologize and explain that to him. If I were him, I would be very upset."
After being raked over the coals for 30 minutes, I relented and went to call. Before I did I prayed, "Lord just give me the words to say." I decided not to call right away after I prayed, instead I waiting until the next day. (Maybe inwardly I thought he needed some time to think about it too)
When I called the next day, he answered the phone. It's almost as if he knew I would call. After a couple of minutes of small talk, I got straight to the point. I apologized and explained about the events from the previous day. He accepted my apology and asked, "So, what are you doing right now?"
"Oh, I'm taking the boys to Mickey D's to meet my friend Karen. You are welcome to come." I quickly responded, not thinking he would take me up on it, but he did.
He came to Mickey D's and hung out with us and met the boys. Then he asked if we could take them to the park so he could play with them for a little while before he had to be at work. So we did and he played with them for an hour or so before going to work. Later that evening, he called me..... (more to come)
Fast forward to January 1994...In order to make a little side money I began office cleaning. The office I was cleaning just happened to belong to Tom, Marie's husband. One night while cleaning, Tom and Marie popped in to pick up something. Out of the clear blue, Tom said, "According to your mom, you aren't dating anyone. Is that correct?"
The response came quickly, "I really have no desire. I've only been divorced since July."
"Well, you should go out with Marie's brother. He just broke his engagement to his fiancee." He replied.
"Tom, there's no hurry. Give her some time." Marie interjected.
"Well, you are involved in the Singles Ministry at church, aren't you?" He asked
I responded."Yes, I am one of the encouragers. I make phone calls and write letters to singles."
"Well then Maries brother, Terry needs some encouragement to come back to church. He's had a hard time wanting to come back. I think he gets tired of us telling him. Maybe you could contact him and invite him to come." He said.
Without hesitation I said, "Sure, I'll be happy to contact him." So Marie gave me his phone number.
A couple of days later, I tried to call Terry but he wasn't home. For the next two weeks, I would unsuccessfully try to call. No, I didn't call every day or every other day, maybe once every 4 days. I ran into Marie at church and she said, "Have you talked to him yet?" "No, he's never home." I said "Please keep trying. Don't give up." She pleaded.
The last Saturday in January, I decidied to give it one more try. I prayed before I called, "Lord, if you want me to encourage this guy to come to church, please let him be home. As I dialed the last number, my palms became clamy, my heart started racing as the voice on the other end said, "Hello!"
"May I speak to Terry?"
"Hold on a minute." Thelma said and she held the phone down and began to yell, "Terry (came out more like "Tarry"), you got a phone call. It's that girl again (and that would be my name for a long time with her, "That girl")
Finally after almost 3 weeks of calling, I talked to him for the very first time. Initially it was a little awkward, but for those of you who know both of us, we like to talk. So it didn't take long for the conversation to liven and we talked for an hour and half. By the end of the converstaion, I had invited him to church on Sunday and he told me precisely where he would be sitting.
On Sunday morning, I walked into the sanctuary and there he was, sitting exactly where he said he would be with his nephews, Brad and Zach, with a smile on his fact that stretched ear to ear. After our initial introductions, he asked me where my boys were. He wanted to see them. I explained they were in their classes and he could see them another time. Then he asked the question, "Do you want to sit with us?"
Without hesitation or second thought, "No thank you. I'm sitting with friends."
Astonished he said, "Oh, ok. Guess I'll talk to you later. Nice meeting you."
I didn't give much thought to what I had just done or undone, but as sure as I am writing this, my sweet little Mama let me know very quickly that I had been rude.
"What do mean inviting someone to church and not sitting with them? What were you thinking? I can't believe you did that to him. He'll probably never talk to you again." She clamored.
"Ok Mama, I get the picture. But you don't understand, I needed to sit with my friends because one of them was joining the church today and she asked me to walk forward with her for moral support. That's why I sat with her." I said trying to ease her rage with me.
"Well, then you need to call him and apologize and explain that to him. If I were him, I would be very upset."
After being raked over the coals for 30 minutes, I relented and went to call. Before I did I prayed, "Lord just give me the words to say." I decided not to call right away after I prayed, instead I waiting until the next day. (Maybe inwardly I thought he needed some time to think about it too)
When I called the next day, he answered the phone. It's almost as if he knew I would call. After a couple of minutes of small talk, I got straight to the point. I apologized and explained about the events from the previous day. He accepted my apology and asked, "So, what are you doing right now?"
"Oh, I'm taking the boys to Mickey D's to meet my friend Karen. You are welcome to come." I quickly responded, not thinking he would take me up on it, but he did.
He came to Mickey D's and hung out with us and met the boys. Then he asked if we could take them to the park so he could play with them for a little while before he had to be at work. So we did and he played with them for an hour or so before going to work. Later that evening, he called me..... (more to come)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Where I belong
We often find ourselves trying vehemently to live our lives through our children. I suppose that’s why God gave me children who have strong wills and independent sprits. I learned very early on that I would be rearing children, not living my life and dreams through them, helping and guiding them to make wise and sometimes difficult choices.
Matthew has always had a mind of his own. He always made friends easily, but he rarely ever allowed those friends to control his thoughts or emotions. Matthew could think for himself and he was always extremely pertinacious. As he grew older, we talked about the possibility of home-schooling him, but he said to me one day, “Mom, if God can use me to make a difference in one person’s life, then I want to stay in public school. One person is worth it all.” Matthew did, over the next few years, make a difference in the lives of several of his friends.
At the end of Matthew’s sophomore year, he said, “Mom, I want to be in the military. I want to join the marines and be on the front lines.” I didn’t say much at the time, knowing that he wasn’t even 16 and couldn’t possibly know what he wanted to do. While he spent the next year talking, I ignored him, until the start of his Senior year and he was still talking about it. I called his dad and told him Matthew’s plan, needless to say, he was not a happy camper. After talking with Matthew, it was then decided that he would join the Navy and get into the Nuke Program.
After Matthew’s decision was made, I really didn’t think it was what he wanted to do; however, as he focused more on the Navy, his excitement accelerated. His hope was to go in immediately after graduation; however, due to the economy the Navy had a significantly higher number of recruits; so he would have to wait a year. While he was disappointed, it also gave him more time to spend with friends and family and also take a 3 ½ week trip to Europe. The wait also made him more eager to join. At that point, my reluctance and disbelief in his choice diminished.
If there were any doubt left in me, I definitely had closure to any that remained the other day. “I just want you to know that joining the Navy was the best decision I have ever made. I have definitely found where I belong.” (Letter from Matthew, dated 11 July 2010) Wow! The words resonated my heart and soul, my precious boy has found his calling. I don’t think there is any greater feeling of accomplishment that a mother can feel when she knows that her children are where they belong.
Psalm 139
1O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me
Matthew has always had a mind of his own. He always made friends easily, but he rarely ever allowed those friends to control his thoughts or emotions. Matthew could think for himself and he was always extremely pertinacious. As he grew older, we talked about the possibility of home-schooling him, but he said to me one day, “Mom, if God can use me to make a difference in one person’s life, then I want to stay in public school. One person is worth it all.” Matthew did, over the next few years, make a difference in the lives of several of his friends.
At the end of Matthew’s sophomore year, he said, “Mom, I want to be in the military. I want to join the marines and be on the front lines.” I didn’t say much at the time, knowing that he wasn’t even 16 and couldn’t possibly know what he wanted to do. While he spent the next year talking, I ignored him, until the start of his Senior year and he was still talking about it. I called his dad and told him Matthew’s plan, needless to say, he was not a happy camper. After talking with Matthew, it was then decided that he would join the Navy and get into the Nuke Program.
After Matthew’s decision was made, I really didn’t think it was what he wanted to do; however, as he focused more on the Navy, his excitement accelerated. His hope was to go in immediately after graduation; however, due to the economy the Navy had a significantly higher number of recruits; so he would have to wait a year. While he was disappointed, it also gave him more time to spend with friends and family and also take a 3 ½ week trip to Europe. The wait also made him more eager to join. At that point, my reluctance and disbelief in his choice diminished.
If there were any doubt left in me, I definitely had closure to any that remained the other day. “I just want you to know that joining the Navy was the best decision I have ever made. I have definitely found where I belong.” (Letter from Matthew, dated 11 July 2010) Wow! The words resonated my heart and soul, my precious boy has found his calling. I don’t think there is any greater feeling of accomplishment that a mother can feel when she knows that her children are where they belong.
Psalm 139
1O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Clouds are silver lined
So, I finally decided to take the plunge into the wide world of blogging. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out, but I'll give it a shot.
The past month has been a whirlwind of seemingly endless hiccups, one right after another. In order to process all that has happened, I've always found writing to be a comfort and quite often illuminates blessings that I would never imagine.
So, let's begin. On May 13th I had sinus surgery, this was not an elective surgery, it was a necessity. My septum was diviated and my turbinates were extremely enlarged. The surgery was sucessful but not without it's share of mishaps. After the first day of surgery, I began experiencing discomfort breathing, and as the days progressed the breathing worsened. I couldn't sleep for three days, then the pain medication made me violently ill. So, I was reduced to Extra Strength Tylenol. On Monday when the doctor removed the stints, the problem was found. The stints had gotten blocked up, thus creating difficulty breathing. Ahhh, to breathe correctly again was a blessing. With the surgery and sleepless nights behind me, I was on my way to full recovery. I could finally sleep soundly at night because I was actually able to breathe.
Then on Saturday May 22nd, I was getting ready for a luncheon at church, when the call came from my Mom. "The nursing home just called and Mother is not responding. They are having difficulty arousing her and I'm going up there." Mom said. "I'll be there soon too." I said. Upon our arrival at the nursing home, my grandmother had finally been stirred out of her slumber and was somewhat responsive. The problem though was her tempearature was 92.2 at best, as the nurse told me, and her heart rate was fluctuating between 42-45. With exception of a few words and naming her family and telling my grandfather that she loved him, her words were garbled. On May 26th @ 12:39 p.m., my grandmother died. As one of my friends so eloquently said a few days prior, "Earth and heaven meet on that day".
On Saturday, May 29th I received an email from a friend. "You need to call Jayme. Her dad is very ill." Immediately, without hesitation, I ran to the phone and called my friend. When I got her answering machine, I rushed back to the computer where I instantly emailed my other friend get the scoop. His response, "Lung cancer and he is in hospice in High Point." My heart sank to my shoes. My friend's dad, Jim Lowry, was such a special person to me. I spent a lot of time and years at their home when I was growing up and kids. He was the man who gave me so much sound wisdom and good advice. So, the plan to get to High even in the later years after I was married with Point as soon as possible began. Friday, June 4th could not come quick enough. Thankfully, I was able to get to visit with Jim and the rest of the family on Friday and Saturday. The following Sunday, June 13th Jim passed away and once again, "earth and heaven met."
Already a whirlwind of activities and life happenings that never really slow you down or offers an opportunity for solice. In addition on June 13th, my son Matthew left for Boot Camp for the Navy. I barely had time to think, much less throw myself a pity party. The only thing I seemed to have time for was prayer and a lot of it. The funny thing was, I wasn't really praying for God to deliver me from my hiccups, I was spending more and more time learning of friends who needed me to pray for them. A good way to get your mind off yourself and onto others.
So, when I say that clouds are silver lined, I'm absolutely certain they are. When you look for the good that can come out of any situation, when you focus on the blessing not the burden, and when you chose to be better instead of bitter....Life can and most assuredly will happen, but God's got you covered.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" I Thess 5:18 (NIV)
The past month has been a whirlwind of seemingly endless hiccups, one right after another. In order to process all that has happened, I've always found writing to be a comfort and quite often illuminates blessings that I would never imagine.
So, let's begin. On May 13th I had sinus surgery, this was not an elective surgery, it was a necessity. My septum was diviated and my turbinates were extremely enlarged. The surgery was sucessful but not without it's share of mishaps. After the first day of surgery, I began experiencing discomfort breathing, and as the days progressed the breathing worsened. I couldn't sleep for three days, then the pain medication made me violently ill. So, I was reduced to Extra Strength Tylenol. On Monday when the doctor removed the stints, the problem was found. The stints had gotten blocked up, thus creating difficulty breathing. Ahhh, to breathe correctly again was a blessing. With the surgery and sleepless nights behind me, I was on my way to full recovery. I could finally sleep soundly at night because I was actually able to breathe.
Then on Saturday May 22nd, I was getting ready for a luncheon at church, when the call came from my Mom. "The nursing home just called and Mother is not responding. They are having difficulty arousing her and I'm going up there." Mom said. "I'll be there soon too." I said. Upon our arrival at the nursing home, my grandmother had finally been stirred out of her slumber and was somewhat responsive. The problem though was her tempearature was 92.2 at best, as the nurse told me, and her heart rate was fluctuating between 42-45. With exception of a few words and naming her family and telling my grandfather that she loved him, her words were garbled. On May 26th @ 12:39 p.m., my grandmother died. As one of my friends so eloquently said a few days prior, "Earth and heaven meet on that day".
On Saturday, May 29th I received an email from a friend. "You need to call Jayme. Her dad is very ill." Immediately, without hesitation, I ran to the phone and called my friend. When I got her answering machine, I rushed back to the computer where I instantly emailed my other friend get the scoop. His response, "Lung cancer and he is in hospice in High Point." My heart sank to my shoes. My friend's dad, Jim Lowry, was such a special person to me. I spent a lot of time and years at their home when I was growing up and kids. He was the man who gave me so much sound wisdom and good advice. So, the plan to get to High even in the later years after I was married with Point as soon as possible began. Friday, June 4th could not come quick enough. Thankfully, I was able to get to visit with Jim and the rest of the family on Friday and Saturday. The following Sunday, June 13th Jim passed away and once again, "earth and heaven met."
Already a whirlwind of activities and life happenings that never really slow you down or offers an opportunity for solice. In addition on June 13th, my son Matthew left for Boot Camp for the Navy. I barely had time to think, much less throw myself a pity party. The only thing I seemed to have time for was prayer and a lot of it. The funny thing was, I wasn't really praying for God to deliver me from my hiccups, I was spending more and more time learning of friends who needed me to pray for them. A good way to get your mind off yourself and onto others.
So, when I say that clouds are silver lined, I'm absolutely certain they are. When you look for the good that can come out of any situation, when you focus on the blessing not the burden, and when you chose to be better instead of bitter....Life can and most assuredly will happen, but God's got you covered.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" I Thess 5:18 (NIV)
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